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Jul. 13th, 2011 07:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
moogleye_76The angel that broke my heart when you were born, Won't leave it alone today.
I sometimes find myself carrying my heart around like a hand bag. "It gets easier with time, and you forget about it for a while, but it becomes your friend, and when you need it you can look down and there it is again. It's as if it replaces the child you lost... you have despair instead.
I realized today that I need Jp's feminine emotionality to peirce through and make sense of this confusion... but there's complications. Sex tends to ruin a friendship. Something like this happens, and there's no room for that position. That position does not exist. I thought I was not ready for him with his crying about his mother... I'm still not sure I can hear that right now. I wish I could have it.
In time when will I know if Asha will do that for me?
Why won't my life stop being so crowded? It seems as though I'm being pushed to the point of crisis or humiliation... over doing it so that I fall under the weight of myself. When did Over crowding become the solution to feeling crowded?
I sometimes find myself carrying my heart around like a hand bag. "It gets easier with time, and you forget about it for a while, but it becomes your friend, and when you need it you can look down and there it is again. It's as if it replaces the child you lost... you have despair instead.
I realized today that I need Jp's feminine emotionality to peirce through and make sense of this confusion... but there's complications. Sex tends to ruin a friendship. Something like this happens, and there's no room for that position. That position does not exist. I thought I was not ready for him with his crying about his mother... I'm still not sure I can hear that right now. I wish I could have it.
In time when will I know if Asha will do that for me?
Why won't my life stop being so crowded? It seems as though I'm being pushed to the point of crisis or humiliation... over doing it so that I fall under the weight of myself. When did Over crowding become the solution to feeling crowded?